Planting Seeds

Today my son and I were in the car for a long drive and I took the opportunity to talk to him about his homeschooling this year.  I really struggle with knowing how hard to push him because he's very bright and quite capable of taking advantage of situations to get out of doing things that are uncomfortable.  Since the first time he tried to say, "I can't because I'm autistic!", I've responded with, "You have the wrong mom to get away with that excuse, having ASD just means that you'll have to learn different coping mechanisms than neurotypical people."  Through fifth grade I was fairly confident in my ability to advocate for him and support him in learning those coping mechanisms, but sixth grade threw me into a whirlwind of self-doubt and an undercurrent of fear that I would get it wrong.  Over and over again I read that early intervention is the best way to help them but my son was high functioning so he wasn't eligible for much at all.  We pieced together what we could on our own, but it hasn't exactly been a smooth, well-lit path.

Today I talked to him about wanting him to have some input into his education and that he's only thirteen so he doesn't have to have it all figured out any time soon and he suddenly burst out with an emotion-laden confession that he's terrified of how big and intimidating the world is and he feels like he has to know exactly what path to take at all times.  When things like that happen I have a lot of reactions, but I know that I have to focus on him and gently help him explore what's scaring him.  It was a big surprise to me to learn that he had so much fear around his future following sixth grade and the constant feeling of failure, even though he didn't actually fail any of his classes.  There have been a handful of times when he's done things like this, had sudden clarity and shared it in a panicky, frightened tone of voice that could at any moment lead to him bursting into tears.  At those times I feel like he's so fragile, in those moments of clarity about what's really behind his reactions to things in his life.  He despises feeling fragile, he seems to think that people should never feel that way and it's some kind of failing on his part, so my first priority is to commiserate with him and reassure him that what he's feeling is perfectly normal.  Hormones don't help the situation, the poor kid went from being barely five feet tall to being within a hair of six feet tall in a matter of months and some days I can feel the waves of testosterone coming off him, at which point I encourage him to do something physical like run around with his dog outside.

Hmmm... I can see that I'm going to have work on focus when I'm writing posts. :)

Anyway, I felt like we had a great conversation where I set up some expectations for him and I'm hoping that soon he and I will sit down and develop a schedule of his major activities and choose exactly which curriculums he wants to follow.  Next week he's going to the Therapeutic Adventure Camp of Orange (TACO) so we'll just be focused on what a great time has there, but maybe the following weekend we'll get started.  He's been doing karate and dance classes since he was six years old but he takes a break in the summer, so I think that getting back to that in the next month or so when they start back up will help to dissipate some of the hormone cloud as well.  Currently it looks like we're going to use time4learning for language classes and possibly math, uzinggo for science, and I'll put things together for him for history, probably from Big History and the Discovery Streaming subscription I bought from the Homeschool Buyer's Co-op, as well as the small library of critical thinking books I have from the Critical Thinking Company (I think they used to be called the Critical Thinking Press).  We'll likely continue using Words and Their Stories because he likes the fact that it's like playing a game, we'll continue to go to Library Love, a small homeschool group that meets in Greene County, and I want to sign him up for a class at the Community Homeschool Enrichment Center (CHEC).  He's also signed up for two classes at Minecraft Homeschool, one about history and one about developing a presentation, and he's very excited about that.  I heard about it on my favorite homeschooling podcast, Savvy Homeschool Moms, which I encourage you to check out.  It's hard to find secular resources and I'm grateful for them!  I'll put links to everything I've referenced at the end of this post and will add a list of important links somewhere on the blog soon, I just haven't decided exactly where to put it.  Most of the resources I mentioned have a Facebook presence as well but I'm only on FB sporadically so I don't follow them there.

Also, if you're on Facebook, there's an excellent resource called the Autism Discussion Page run by Bill Nasons (I think that's spelled correctly) and I encourage anyone dealing with ASD to check it out.  He's about to publish the wisdom it contains so far in two books and I can't wait to buy them.  It's challenging for me to measure how much pressure to put on my son and that FB page is a constant reminder that that's a challenge for everyone raising or working with ASD kids and that I can only do my best and stop expecting perfection.  I can't tell you how often I need to hear that!


I hope everyone has a great weekend, I'm going to take a mini-vacation sanity break and stay at a hotel about forty minutes away Saturday night.  My husband and son will go to a birdwatching club meeting Saturday and I'm sure they'll spend many hours working on the Minecraft server my husband set up for a possible "Programming in Javascript Using Minecraft" (or something along those lines) class he's thinking about offering to local kids Ben's age.  I'm really hoping he does it, it's important to me that we contribute to the homeschooling community however we can.

Links:

Therapeutic Adventure Camp of Orange (TACO) - A wonderful day camp that has spring and fall days too that's geared toward kids with special needs.  He enjoys it so much and I think it helps him to be around people who are less functional than he is for whatever reason so he doesn't fall into the pit of feeling sorry for himself, as well as gaining the joy that comes from helping others.

Karate in Orange - Spike Richards teaches a class at the Racquetball Club.  He doesn't have a website but he can be contacted by email if you're interested. 

Dance Classes in Gordonsville - Brushwood School of Dance - He's taking Tap 2 and Modern 2 this year and I can't say enough about how wonderful Pam Brushwood and all of her teachers are!

Time4Learning - I like the similarity to school because I think it made him more secure, but the challenges of online classes can be difficult to overcome.  My ID on the forum is HSandASD.

Uzinggo - This site has better quality videos and my son LOVED the science class, but the limitations of learning online in a very linear way made the math class really difficult for him so we ended up having to work through it together much of the time.  He doesn't want to do the math again but is excited about doing more of their science.

Big History - My son really enjoys history and I found this late last year but haven't really dug through it yet.  I'm hoping to use some of it this year.

Discovery Education Streaming subscription purchased from Homeschool Buyer's Co-op (link to deal on the co-op) -This is an amazing resource from what I can tell, I just need to find the time to explore the whole thing.  The Homeschool Buyer's Co-op is wonderful and we've found great deals there!

Critical Thinking Co. - A great resource for materials that focus on teaching and encouraging critical thinking, something that seems to be sorely lacking in the public education system, in my opinion.

Words and Their Stories - A great vocabulary builder from FableVision, a company I like a great deal.

Homeschool group that meets in Greene County - Library Love - This is a small group we attended last year and the website is brand new so there isn't much there yet, but I'm helping with the organization of the group this year and will update the website once the schedule is solidified.

Homeschool Classes held in Charlottesville - Community Homeschool Enrichment Center - I've heard great things about this Center and the list of classes looks great, so I'm hoping to get my son into a class or two this fall.

Minecraft Homeschool - My son is really excited about the classes he's signed up for, we'll see how it goes.

Savvy Homeschool Moms - A wonderful secular podcast by two homeschooling moms.  It never fails to make me laugh and they have great interviews and product reviews too.

Autism Discussion Page on Facebook - An excellent resource, I can't wait to buy the accompanying books!

Birdwatching Club held in Charlottesville and surrounding counties - Blue Ridge Young Birders Club (BRYBC) - A wonderful group for pre-teens/teens who love birdwatching.  The group is run by the kids and Ben really enjoys the monthly meetings and occasional field trips.  There are quite a few homeschool kids in the group too.